Every year at around this time you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll write a post about my determination to lose weight and every year I fail miserably within days of clicking the publish button. Nine times out of ten I give up because I set myself up to fail by following some faddy diet or one that requires a shed load of so-called superfoods that costs an arm and a leg and getting up at a ridiculous hour to prepare a four course breakfast and enough vegetables to feed the entire population of Liechtenstein. I have a theory that the current vegetable shortage isn’t due to the weather but that they’ve all been bought by people who have shelves groaning with recipe books by the likes of Deliciously Ella, the Helmsley sisters and Madeleine Shaw! Now please don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against those that advocate a diet full of nutrient rich foods and discourages putting anything into our mouths that might be processed, contain gluten or dairy products. Judging by the fabulous  way they all look, what they believe in obviously works for them, and no doubt for their many fans who religiously follow their lead, but I really just can’t be arsed to spend hours in the kitchen spiralising and juicing when all I really want to do is heat up a tin of beans and pop a slice of gluten loaded bread in the toaster!

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Does anyone really have time to make a superfood layered breakfast jar?

I wasn’t always fat. I’m not going to use the word curvy or fuller figured or well-rounded but I’m going to say it as it is. I’m fat, end of! Once upon a time many moons ago before my boys came along, I was petite. Not just in height (I’m 5ft nothing) but a size 10 sometimes swamped me. The only chunky bit of me were my knees. Slim legs and big knees is not a winning look. I’ve always kidded myself that the reason that I failed my Royal Ballet school audition is because they didn’t like my knees! I come from a long line of short rotund people on my mum’s side, and I know that I can’t blame genetics for my joining that long line, but I think they have to play some part in my expanding waistline. My sister meanwhile takes after my dad’s side of the family and is a skinny minny, a fact that I’ve always been secretly envious of.

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The teeny tiny 22yr old me

Genetics aside, the reason why I’m fat is plain and simple. I eat too much and I don’t exercise enough. I eat healthy meals and never eat takeaways, but I pile too much on my plate and am addicted to sugar so snack on biscuits, cakes, sweets and chocolates especially after work and during the evening. Even as I type this I have nibbled my way through a Cadbury’s Brunch Bar. I’m not stupid and I know what I should eat and I know that the only way to lose weight is to eat fewer calories and use up calories by moving more.It’s not rocket science is it!  You don’t need to live off of shakes, have diet meals delivered , eat next to no calories on two days a week or cut out certain food groups altogether. Food should be enjoyed. In my book, food is one of life’s pleasures but it just needs to be eaten in moderation.Obviously, a rule that I’ve sadly failed to follow.

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No, this isn’t me, but could well be. Not a pretty sight is it!

Being fat isn’t making me unhappy. I’m not depressed about it but I do worry a great deal about the impact it’s having on my health and general fitness. Am I going to end up being a diabetic, suffer a stroke or heart disease? The stark reality is the answer is probably yes. Do I like the fact that I get easily breathless? No I definitely don’t. And then there is the vanity issue. Do I want to look good in clothes and in photos? Damn right I do! Am I ashamed of the way I look and worry about how people perceive me? Absolutely! Is it too late to do something about it? God, I hope not!

I’ve made a decision. When I  return from Vienna I’m going to enrol at a Slimming World class. I have come to realise that I can’t lose weight without support. Back in 2005 I joined a class and lost four stone and felt absolutely brilliant. I put my fantastic weight loss down to the fact that I have a competitive streak and like to be a winner. I loved the praise heaped on me when I won slimmer of the week or month, and besides, I’m a sucker for stickers and certificates!  I ate well all the time I went and the pounds dropped off steadily. No food was denied, you just retrained the way you ate. It worked for me then and I’m confident it will work for me now.

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2006 and me after losing 4 stone at Slimming World. I took part in Race For Life and ran most of the course.

I was toying with the idea of posting photos on this post of my fat self, but I just can’t pluck up the courage to do so. I hope that you don’t mind.

Wish me luck and if you see me look longingly at a giant bar of Dairy Milk then just point me in the direction of a Curly Whirly bar. Slimming World members will know exactly what I mean!

Brigitte xx

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